What Would Your Family Have to Figure Out?

What My Mom’s Passing Taught Me About Final Expense Planning

Having money available for final expenses is an important part of planning.
My family’s recent experience reminded me that the people we love also need to
understand what we want, what has already been arranged and what they will be responsible for carrying out.

By Staci Redmon | Retirement Confidence Advisor™
October 2026 • 7 min read

When my mom recently passed away, her final arrangements had been paid for. I am grateful that part had been taken care of, but when it came time to carry out those arrangements, we discovered there were still things we did not clearly understand. The instructions she left were not clear about exactly what she wanted or who was supposed to perform the different parts of her final arrangements. My dad had just lost his wife of 59 years. He was grieving and was not thinking clearly enough to work through those details, so as the oldest child, those responsibilities fell to me. I was dealing with the loss of my mom while also trying to understand her wishes and take care of what needed to happen.

That experience made this part of planning much more personal for me. We can make arrangements, pay for things in advance and believe we have given our families what they need. But the people carrying out those plans may still have questions we never realized we were leaving them to answer. It made me think about something I believe every family should consider: if the people you love had to carry out your final arrangements, would they understand what you wanted and know where to begin?

Paying for Final Arrangements Is Part of the Planning

When people hear the words final expense planning, they often think about the cost of a funeral. They may wonder whether they have enough life insurance, whether they should set aside savings or whether paying for arrangements in advance makes sense. Those are important questions because someone will need to understand how the expenses are going to be handled. But there are also decisions involving the arrangements themselves, the people who will be involved and the instructions your family will need to follow.

In my mom’s case, things had been paid for. What we needed was a clearer understanding of exactly what she wanted and who was supposed to do what. That distinction matters because having the financial side addressed can create a sense that everything is settled. Your family may still need to confirm arrangements, contact the appropriate people and make decisions about details you thought were already understood. Looking at both the money and the instructions gives you a more complete picture of how prepared your family would actually be.

Your Spouse May Need More Help Than You Expect

Married couples often assume that the surviving spouse will know what to do. After years together, that seems reasonable. Your spouse may understand your preferences, know the people you would want involved and remember conversations your children were never part of. But we also need to consider what that person will be experiencing at the time those decisions need to be made. Losing the person you have shared your life with can make even familiar responsibilities difficult to manage.

My parents had been married for 59 years. My dad was facing the loss of his wife, and he needed support. As the oldest child, I stepped in to handle the arrangements, but that also meant I needed information that was not completely clear to me. It is worth thinking about who that person would be in your family. If your spouse were overwhelmed, who would help? Would that person know where the paperwork was, whom to contact and which decisions had already been made? Including another trusted person in the conversation can help prepare your family for that possibility.

What Is Clear to You May Not Be Clear to Someone Else

When we leave instructions, we bring our own understanding to what we have written. We remember the conversation with the funeral home. We know the person we would like to perform the service. We understand which preferences matter most to us and which details we are comfortable leaving to someone else. The person reading those instructions later may not have any of that background. They may be trying to connect pieces of information while also wondering whether they are making the decisions you would have wanted.

For example, if you want a particular person to lead your service, does your family have that person’s name and current contact information? Have you spoken with that person, and have they agreed? If they are unavailable, does your family know what you would prefer? If you discussed arrangements with a funeral home or church, is there a written record of what was decided? These are practical details, but they can become important when someone else is responsible for following through. Sitting down with the person who may handle your arrangements and letting them ask questions can help you discover what needs more explanation.

Where Final Expense Insurance Fits Into the Conversation

Final expense insurance is life insurance intended to help with expenses associated with someone’s death, including funeral and burial costs. It can be one resource for addressing the financial side of this planning. Whether additional coverage makes sense begins with understanding what you already have and what you need it to accomplish. Existing life insurance, savings and prepaid arrangements should all be part of that review.

Have you already designated money for these expenses? Do you know what your prepaid arrangements include and what may still need to be paid for? Is your existing life insurance intended to cover final expenses, provide income for your spouse or accomplish several different things? If your family uses savings, how would that affect the money available for ongoing living expenses? Those questions help identify whether there is a financial gap. You may discover that your current resources are sufficient, or you may find an area that deserves a closer look. Either way, understanding the need should come before deciding whether to purchase another policy.

Understand What You Are Paying For

If you are considering life insurance for final expenses, the monthly premium will naturally be part of your decision. That payment needs to fit into your budget, especially if you are retired and relying on income that may not change very much from year to year. But you should also understand the benefit the policy provides, how long the coverage is intended to last, whether the premium can change and whether there are limitations that affect what would be paid. Those details deserve a clear explanation before you commit to a policy.

The National Association of Insurance Commissioners encourages consumers to consider how much coverage they need, how long they need it and what they can afford. I believe those are useful questions to bring into any life insurance review. You should be able to explain why you have a policy, what responsibility you expect it to fulfill and how the premium fits alongside your other expenses. Your family should also know that the policy exists, where to find the information and whom to contact when they need to begin a claim. NAIC life insurance guidance

Give Your Family Information They Can Use

One of the practical steps you can take is to organize your written wishes, records of prepaid arrangements, insurance information and important contacts so the appropriate person can find them. Explain which arrangements are confirmed and which are simply preferences you would like someone to carry out. If you expect a particular person to handle a responsibility, talk with them about it. Knowing that someone has agreed to help is different from assuming they will be available when the time comes.

It is also worth reviewing that information periodically. People move, contact information changes and someone you expected to help may no longer be available. Your own preferences may change as well. A plan you put together years ago may need a few updates to remain useful. The person assisting your family should be able to understand what is current without having to sort through conflicting notes or rely on memories of conversations from years earlier.

A Conversation Worth Having While You Have Time

My mom had taken care of an important part of her planning, and I appreciate that. Going through the experience also showed me how much the remaining details can matter to the person responsible for carrying everything out. When I think about final expense planning now, I think about the spouse who may be overwhelmed, the adult child who may need to step in and the questions they will be trying to answer while grieving someone they love. Clear instructions can give them direction when making decisions feels especially difficult.

If you have already addressed your final expenses, I would encourage you to review the instructions that go with them. Could another person read them and understand what you want? Would they know who is supposed to be involved and how to reach those people? Have you explained what has been paid for and what remains to be arranged? You may find that much of your planning is in good shape and that a conversation with your family would help complete it.

If you would like help reviewing how final expense protection fits into your overall financial picture, I would be happy to have that conversation with you. We can start with what you already have, what you want those resources to accomplish and whether there are gaps that deserve attention. And as you review the financial side, take time to talk with the people who may be responsible for carrying out your wishes. Giving them the opportunity to ask questions now can help them feel more certain about what you want when they need that understanding most.

Clarity Today. Confidence Tomorrow.™

Staci Redmon
Retirement Confidence Advisor™